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weed Backfire??? lol

so my best friends doesnt understand why i find that he has to lie to his girlfriend about the fact that he smokes with out her funny. the whole thing is funny because she is only now about to leave high school and still have a childs heart and is stuck on some stupid promise my friend made to get her to not drink with people that wouldnt take care of her when she is drunk. In return he would not smoke without her. mind you he made this promise thinking that he would not smoke again for a very long time having stopped a year ago. He got her to smoke weed with him for the first time and has been smoking weed without her almost everyday therefore breaking that promise. I tell him a few days ago i find this whole situation and he doesnt understand y. what i am about to say will explain why its so funny. 

So a week ago he asked me to buy a bag for him and his girl. they end up not even smoking a quarter of the bag before she has to go back home to pa. He then tells me two to three days later that he has smoked that whole bag and then today tells me that if he doesnt get a new bag to make it seem he still has that old bag by thursday that he is dead. 

This is why i find it funny my friend. 


i wish I was good at talking to people to get a job and make friends. the few friends i have are moving on with their lives, one moved to florida, my cousin who i was with basically everyday all day has now gotten a job, my best friend goes to school and whenever hes not at school hes busy talking to his girlfriend and my other best friend sleeps when im awake and the other way around. I stay in my room at the back of the house all day where i get no sun and no fresh air alone with my thoughts. sometimes i feel like i might be like this forever and then i think id rather die then be scared of going out there and talking to people. I just dont know how to get out there and find friends. im not that great at conversations if i dont know the person all that well and i begin to nervously shut down. i try to make friends online because i get i would get to talk with them before actually meeting and would give me more to talk about instead of meeting the person first and awkwardly sitting there with nothing to say. i try to apply for work online but no one wat a guy who had to drop out of school because he couldnt deal with all the loud ignorance and violence of these public school kids. people also dont want to hire a person with no experience. My thing is how do we get experience if we are not given the chance. i feel like now a days you need to know someone to get a job if u have never worked before. i applied to target a few days ago in hopes that due to the holiday they would be hiring extra hands and i could try and get out of my house and interact with people but they denied me again, this was my 4th time applying. Ive tried making friends on here but no one ever replies and other internet site have so many fake people. some people wonder why some people would want to die so young and i say its not that hard to die when you arent living. life in a room is not a life its a prison and somethimes i feel as if it will one day be my tomb. 

damn im bored as fuck. im always bored. i guess thats the price of having no friends.